I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
