worst night to have a conscience
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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