would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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