careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
