One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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