We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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