whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
