So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
