party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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