i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
