One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
