i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
