it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
