They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
