YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
