bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
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Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
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For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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