we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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