Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
