I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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