I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
