is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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