I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
