i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
