she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
