it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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