You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
