I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
