turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
After tacos, we're chasing women.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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