I hate all girls vehemently.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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