ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
