It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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