What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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