i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
