She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
