you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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