i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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