wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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