she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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