I cockslap morals
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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