can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
