Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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