i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize