Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
