mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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