His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
