Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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