would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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