The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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