U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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