so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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