I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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