Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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