By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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