I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize