today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
