I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
