after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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