she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
