For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
