But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
two words: eviction party
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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