new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
