He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
