If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
