Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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