I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
