No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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